A few days ago (I’m already lying, it was yesterday.) I did a post on the U.S. Open and covered the rules of NASKA, the general goals I have in life, and all sorts of other wholesome, wonderful, very boring bits of information that I tried to package with funny pictures and a few attempts at humor.
To quote many of my friends and coworkers when presented with something we just aren’t that pumped about. It was “meh.”
The reason being I was trying to write in a style I found “appropriate.” Why? I have absolutely no idea. It’s a trap I think all of us can fall into from time to time. We tend to get a little too concerned about what people will think rather than what we want to say and, at least for me. It makes me write like a 56-year-old who just discovered the joy of touch-typing.
I’ve repaired the problem by leaving my house, over-caffeinating myself and doing random other work until KAPOW, I feel the overwhelming urge to blog about random stuff.
So, y’all got the update on the U.S. Open. It was good and fun, and during the whole thing, I slept about 9 hours. I was also caught in a monsoon, watched drunk people climb an Aztec pyramid in the dark, was wrangled into several wonderful situations, made new friends, was horribly awkward and slept through TWO takeoffs IN A ROW. I also had my brain blown by Disney several times, did 5 hours of data entry, live-streamed something like 7,000 divisions, missed a flight, wondered what I should blog about, and wrote some weird stuff while I was barely conscious.
e.g. “Black harpies in high heels clicking their way to gates. Enveloped in clouds of musk and red-taloned hands clutching iPhones.””
In the next paragraph, I talk about glaciers…What?
There has also been a slow and creeping realization that I have been steadfastly ignoring for the last 6 months or so. I’ve been maintaining my delusion despite some rather alarming messages and persistent signs that haven’t so much been nudging me in the back as bludgeoning me over the head as hard as metaphorically possible.
I’m not 16 anymore.
“But, Corey!” You might say. “You haven’t been 16 for over a decade!”
Yes, random speaker. You are correct. But, I completely ignored that fact until about now. I’m a bit more tired than I used to be. I don’t heal quite as fast, I don’t bounce back quite as fast. Some things are a little harder than they used to be, and there are others that I have realized really aren’t worth the time or the effort.
I guess that means I grew up a bit in the last 10 years.
It was sort of brought home this weekend. Big karate tournaments are a blast, and it’s a lot like starting a marathon at a sprint and just never stopping. As soon as you get up, things are buzzing at a thousand miles and hour. Drive to the airport, spend 10 minutes trying to explain to the ticketing lady what a “bo” is and finally just give up and say they’re fishing rods (In a cloth bag…embroidered with golden dragons). Find the gate, wander aimlessly and wonder when you’re supposed to start eating “clean”.
Decide coffee is clean.
Fly, land, try to find the oversize baggage for your “fishing rods”. Figure out how to get to the venue, get to the venue (props if you actually know where that is beforehand), as soon as you walk in you’re beset by people giving you hugs, high fives and asking if you know where -random person- is. Despite the fact you obviously just walked in and don’t know where anything is. Then, find Sport Martial Arts (this can take a significant amount of time), get room keys and registration, find room and the list of things just keeps on going for what feels like forever until it’s two days later and the whole world is vibrating gently. But, the event is done. Also, you apparently did well.
This is crazy. But it’s also completely my fault.
I’ve always believed that when you’re given an opportunity, you should take it. And because of that I now work with Sport Martial Arts, I’m on Team AKA, I have an internship with (b)OINK, I own a business, I’m married, and I’m working on a handful of other things that might just someday become something.
Like, y’know, other than regret.
But, by taking every opportunity that arises and jumping on every new adventure. There are times that I sometimes realize I might have, possibly, bitten off more than I can chew and it might, potentially, cause everything to come crashing down in a giant burn-ey pile of horrible-ness.
It leads to small, quiet moments around 1 AM where I think about the world and my place in it. I wrote a post about it a few months ago.
When I was 16, I wasn’t doing nearly as much stuff. I was too scared to. There were opportunities that swept past me and I let go. Becuase I didn’t think I could. I didn’t think I was good enough, smart enough, talented enough, whatever. But now? Now I’m slowly becoming the person I was too scared to envision when I was a kid. I’m doing things that I didn’t dare dream of. I’m talking to people, taking advantage of new opportunities and pushing every aspect of life as hard, and as far as I can. Yes, it’s exhausting. Yes, it’s terrifying. But it’s also wonderful and exciting and lets me appreciate the small moments that hang like quicksilver in the air.
Is there too much on my plate? Probably. Should I try to sleep more? Absolutely.
But there is so much life out there happening right now and I don’t want to miss a single second. So, for now, I’ll keep on ignoring the metaphorical bludgeoning. I’ll keep on trying to run fast enough to avoid all the bad stuff. And I’ll make sure to have a little bit of fun while I’m at it.